Typically when I start a blog, I have a fairly good grasp of what I want to write.  Usually there is a starting point, a middle theme, and a neat as a bow tied up ending.  I do this out of consideration for the few readers I have, because any of you who know me, know my brain works on several topics at once, and were I given a podium at which to preach my knowledge to the world, I would probably perform a feat of unending blabbering that Rand Paul would envy.

Tonight is different; tonight I don't know for certain that I will publish this entry when I finish.  The critic in me is hardest on myself, and would destroy my thoughts before making them blatantly public.  It's my disdain for self-centeredness and vanity.  I guarantee you I will count how many "I's" I typed in this diatribe before I post it.  

Lately the radiant heat of summer in Wisconsin has me appreciating every little bit of the world I experience.  Thankfully the rain hasn't been as scarce as last year, so I'm privileged by the grace of Mother Nature to have a very lovely garden on display.  There are days that it's beauty and peace are exotic enough to me that I can feel balanced, undisturbed, and content.  Each day the sun breaks through the tall pines and illuminates the edges of my garden boxes, sets alight the petals of my flowers, is a good day.  The cluster of birds begin lining up for their morning feeding; swapping spots in the bird bath and poking at each other playfully.  Some days this is enough.  Some days, this is a paradise anyone would envy.

Do the infinite possibilities of this world pull so strongly at other people as they do at me sometimes?  How is it possible to feel so completely at peace and settled in one corner of this globe, and yet still want so urgently to drop everything at a moment's notice and set out to see the unseen?  Travel bug you say?  Possibly.....

Few people really know me.  I guess I've never felt it necessary to explain myself to the world.  The world and I have always understood each other.  It's other humans that are often a puzzle to me.  Too often my blunt observations have gotten past the barrier of my lips and I've regretted it.  It happens to us all, but I can honestly say that I don't feel bad about it.  I guess my opinion is that you need to be strong enough in your sense of self to not let those things get to you.  

Why do so many people go about set on propelling themselves into the social abyss of trying to be something that in the end will be nothing but a pile of dust anyway?  Embrace mortality and discover the freedom that comes with it.  I can't remember the exact quote, but I believe it came from an excerpt written by the late Roger Ebert, and had a similar theme.  He wrote about how few people understand what it means to really live an enlightened existence.  He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that people die all the time, every day, thousands and thousands of them.  However, the way to go on living after you die is to have ideas that stick around.  Don't waste energy on trying to preserve your looks, or your possessions - instead work on preserving your ideas.  Share them with people.  Communicate.  Change the world in a small way.  

I like that thought.  It's not practical, everyday living.....it's above it.  It's being unselfish.  It's being truly grateful to just breathe everyday.  It's setting an example of a full life, and a life well-lived.